A Welsh View

Video: Sewing a Drawing Into My Tongue

Probably not for the squeamish. [via]

Bus Driver Fails To Stop For Passenger Who Gave 'Wrong Type Of Wave'

Four times Alan January stood at the bus-stop waving at the driver to pick him up. And four times the bus went straight past without even slowing down.

But when he wrote a letter of complaint, he received a reply explaining that it was all his fault. He was giving the wrong kind of wave.

"The bus company said I'd been waving my hand around and my arm should be outstretched," said 51-year-old Mr January, a walking tour guide from St Mawes, Cornwall.

"Really, it shouldn't matter. The fact that I'm at the bus stop should alert them to the fact I'm waiting for the bus." Link

Video: Walking Into A Volcano

Why You Shouldn't Get Too Close to an Erupting Volcano

When faced with an erupting volcano this idiot decides to walk into it!

Katrina Victim Sues U.S. For $3 Quadrillion

Stupid American! There's probably not that much money in the world.

UK Government's 10 Step Guide To Fixing A Broken Light Bulb

The House of Commons (UK government) 10 step guide to fixing a broken light bulb. It fails to say how many people are required. Link [via]

America's Craziest Laws

A giant list of crazy American laws. I wonder how many of these actually exist. [via]

Baby Given 25 Middle Names - All Boxers

A mother has given her new baby daughter 25 middle names - all famous boxers. Her full name is: Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown.

The child's mother said she gave them all those names because her parents "are obsessed with boxing and have a bit of a daft sense of humour". Link

Is This The World's Shortest Double Yellow Line?

Are these the world's shortest double yellow lines? Their total length is a mere 38 inches, less than a third of the average car.

The tiny no-go zone in the village of Falmer is one of several painted in the area by the county council.

It insists that the lines are there to mark the boundary between new residential parking bays and those where drivers with pay-and-display tickets are allowed to park.

Nevertheless, fines are expected if any unfortunate visitor should leave part of his motor encroaching on the yellow peril.

Men Wrongly Imprisoned Must Pay Prison 'Board And Lodgings'

Three men who spent between 10 and 18 years in prison for a crime they didn't commit must pay for their prison board and lodgings. Judges ruled by a four to one majority that they must pay back 25% of their compensation. The three had received between £506,220, £670,000 and £990,000 in compensation.

They said that if they were free they would still have had to pay for the necessities in life so just because they were wrongly imprisoned doesn't mean that they should get away with not paying.

Mr Cool Ice

Something tells me this guy is going to regret his Mr Cool Ice tattoos. [via]

Video: Screw vs Arm

Probably not for the squeamish.

What Not To Call Your Kids

If your surname is Haine and you have two children, what is the best names to call them? Shlaine and Caine of course, because schoolkids love nothing better than rhyming names. The childrens' names have become apparent after their parents were jailed for not ensuring that one of them goes to school.

Woman Moves House, Takes Garden With Her

A woman loved her garden so much that when she moved house she decided to take it with her.

Sheila, 74, spent a year transferring 600 plants, shrubs and bushes into grow-bags.

She hired an extra removal van to drive them 150 miles from South East London to Bathampton, Somerset.

Then she spent six months replanting her original award-winning design — even buying two neighbouring plots to fit it all in.

The retired teacher said: “My garden was my pride and joy. I just couldn’t leave it behind. - The Sun

Video: Eating Cereals From Your Chest

Mmm...deodorant tasting cereals.

Video: Thumbtacks vs Forehead

Why? [via]

Video: Light Bulb vs Groin

Why? [via]

Video: Guy Sets Pubes On Fire

If you are considering setting fire to your pubes, don't. It makes you scream like a girl. [via]

Video: Cactus Eating

A crazy guy feasts on a cactus. [via]

Video: What Happens Next?

Nice face plant. [via]

Video: How Not To Defuse A Bomb

[via]

Video: Kid Runs Into Wall

A kid runs into a wall on purpose. Would have been funnier if he didn't use his arms to stop himself. [via]

Video: Kids Vs Bins

A kid demonstrates why it's not a good idea to jump off a balcony onto a load of bins. [via]

Baa, Baa, Rainbow Sheep

The world has finally has gone mad. Two pre-school nurseries in Oxfordshire are being taught a new version of the nursery rhyme 'Baa, Baa, Black Sheep' - 'Baa, Baa, Rainbow Sheep'! The charity that runs the nursery has defended claims that this is political correctness gone too far by saying that children should be encouraged to change the words in order to extend their vocabulary.

"They sing happy, sad, bouncing, hopping, pink, blue, black and white sheep etc and they also exchange boy and girl at the end of the rhyme.

Sounds like a cover-up to me.[via]

Video: Dart vs Hand

Why it's never a good idea to put your hand on a dart board. [via]

School Bans Hot Cross Buns

A school has gone politically correct mad and decided to ban hot cross buns. The head teacher of The Oaks primary school in Ipswich has asked caterers to remove the crosses from all hot cross buns because they might upset Jehovah's Witnesses.

“For our students who are Jehovah’s Witnesses, hot cross buns are not part of their beliefs.

“We decided to have the cross removed in respect of their beliefs.”

[via]

Man Ticketed For Giving Speed Camera The Finger

A motorist was hit with an £80 fine — for giving a speed camera the finger.

Simon Thompson, 41, made the middle finger curse when he spotted the mobile camera as he drove home from work within the speed limit.

He was stunned half an hour later when the two cops who had been operating the device knocked on his door — and handed him a fixed penalty notice for making offensive gestures under the Public Order Act. - The Sun

Klingon Wikipedia

Of use to absolutely nobody - the Klingon Wikipedia. [via]

Save My Penis

Another Million Dollar Homepage (which has almost reached $1m) ripoff. This time the site owner will apparently chop off his penis if the pixels in the top of the hourglass outsell the pixels in the bottom of the hourglass. Yeah right!

LiveJournal Freak

Someone likes LiveJournal a bit too much. [via]

Video: US Army vs Stone Throwing Kids

A US soldier moans and moans and moans about kids who throw stones at his truck. [via]

Bank To Remove Clocks To Stop Customers Moaning

The Sun: Time's up for bank clocks

Clock are being removed from NatWest banks — to stop customers moaning.

Insiders say the timepieces are being taken down so the public cannot complain about how long they have had to queue.

One worker said: “If people have been standing waiting to see a cashier for a long time they can get very cross.

“With a clock there, it was difficult for us to disagree with them. Without one it’s harder for them to complain.”

Video: Burning Ben

Setting your mate on fire is not a good thing to do. [via]

Video: Nail Gun To The Leg

A man fires a nail into his leg for a radio stunt. Idiot. [via]

Video: Kid Runs Into Stop Sign

An idiot runs into a stop sign on purpose. The things people do to get posted on A Welsh View. [via]

Video: Would You Let A Tramp Spit In Your Face?

Would you let a tramp spit in your face for a grand? [via]

Children Banned From Saying Christmas

A primary school headteacher has banned children in her school from talking about Christmas before December 7th. The reason for the ban is that the children could get too excited which could then affect their work.

Video: Mosh Pit Compilation

Mosh pits look like such pleasant places. [via]

Video: Gayest. Skateboarder. Ever

[via]

Why I Cut Off My Testicles

Back in February I posted a link to an article about a Welshman who cut off his testicles because Wales beat England in rugby. The man has just been released from a psychiatric unit and has been talking to The Sun.

"...I started hacking away at my tackle. It took about ten minutes and there was quite a lot of pain — but I just kept going.

The cutters were blunt so I had to keep snipping. I cut my penis as well. There was a lot of blood but not as much as you would expect.

Eventually Geoffrey succeeded in castrating himself over the toilet. Then, after fishing his testicles from the loo, he walked to Gethin’s house. "

Fountain Pens 'Too Risky For Under-14s'

United Press International: British government regulate pens

For decades, British children have mastered penmanship using fountain pens, but the government now says they are too dangerous for those under age 14.

Waterman, a fountain pen maker, now inserts a note with its pens that says: "This product is not intended for use by anyone under the age of 14 years."

"This has the effect of law," said Dave Ruderman of Waterman.

"Perhaps I will have to employ pen police," said Kevin Jones, headmaster of St John's College School, Cambridge, England.

Cat Becomes Millionaire

Yahoo! Millionaire tabby becomes Canada's richest cat

A lifelong bachelor who amassed a fortune by living reportedly simply left all his money to his cat after his death.

According to the Ottawa Citizen David Harper, the shy and somewhat reclusive owner of Red the cat, died in March at the age of 79, but left an estate worth 1.3 million dollars (1.1 million US) to his beloved tabby.

The United Church of Canada will administer the funds, in accordance with Harper's will, and be responsible for the three-year-old cat's care, feeding and veterinarian bills for the rest of its life, the newspaper reported.

PC Brigade Ban Snow White Dwarfs

The Sun: What a bunch of Dopeys

Pantos of Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs are being censored — to outlaw the word dwarf.

A shocked village drama group sent off for a script and found Dopey and his pals — played by kids — had to be called “gnomes” instead.

Ray Lionet, 73, of the Coxheath Players in Kent, said the ban was to avoid offending short people. He said: “It’s madness.”

Video: Hypnotised People Get Horny

I've never believed that people can be hypnotised in ways like you see on comedy shows and this is no exception. (NSFW due to people humping chairs) [Thanks Philipp]

Hospital Bans Cooing At Babies

BBC: Criticism for ban on baby cooing

A national support group for mothers has criticised a hospital that has banned visitors to the neo-natal unit from cooing at babies.

A hospital spokesman said the guidelines were issued "in response to parents' concerns".

The hospital issued the ban over concerns that a baby's human rights may be breached by cooing visitors and also because of fears over spreading infections.

Debbie Lawson, neo-natal manager at the hospital's special care baby unit, said: "We know people have good intentions and most people cannot resist cooing over new babies but we need to respect the child.

"Cooing should be a thing of the past because these are little people with the same rights as you or me."

Has the whole world gone mad?

Video: Mosh Pit Brawl

This is one very good reason why I don't go in mosh pits. [via]

Video: Russian Hooligans

Russian hooligans fighting in the snow. I suppose there's nothing much else to do. [via]

How Not To Fly A Helicopter

A good example of how not to fly a helicopter. [via]

Family Call Child Rafferty Bob Ash Chewbacca Peate

Shropshire Star: Say hello to baby . . . Chewy!

A Shropshire family, who say they have been likened to TV's The Osbournes, have named their latest child after Bob the Builder, a figure from Pokemon and a character from Star Wars.

The newest addition to the seven-member Peate family from Berrington, near Shrewsbury, is Rafferty Bob Ash Chewbacca Peate [or 'chewy' for short].

The article also has a picture of 'chewy' along with his bright pink haired mother.

Dad Kills Self Because Daughter Was Refused Place At School

Mirror: Dad Kills Himself In Schools Snub Row

Distraught dad Steve Don killed himself after his daughter was refused a place at the school of her choice.

The 43-year-old jumped in front of a train convinced he'd failed the 11-year-old.

But the youngster was snubbed because he filled in the application form wrong and sent it in late.

Hmmm...that's going to help matters.

A Message From A New Orleans Mortage Company

A message from a New Orleans mortage company...

TO ALL STANDARD MORTGAGE CORPORATION CUSTOMERS:

OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED A LOSS IN THIS TERRIBLE CATASTROPHE.

AS MANY OF YOU MAY KNOW, MOST OF US AT STANDARD MORTGAGE ARE RESIDENTS OF THE GREATER NEW ORLEANS AREA AND WE PERSONALLY KNOW AND FEEL YOUR PAIN AND LOSS.

WE PRAY THAT ALL OF YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES ARE SAFE AND SECURE WHEREVER YOU MAY BE.

If the message had ended there it would have been a nice gesture. However the message goes on to say...

WE ASK THAT ALL PAYMENTS BE SENT TO US, AS YOU WOULD NORMALLY DO, TO THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS:

STANDARD MORTGAGE CORPORATION
P.O. BOX 53426
NEW ORLEANS , LA 70153-3426

Do they really think that people who have just lost their homes and everything in them will be worrying about paying their mortage bills? Not only that, don't they realise that there's no postal service in their area. [via]